Tears, Tribulations and Happy endings

I can't believe it's December already.  It seems like yesterday that I was writing down my list of goals for 2011 (have achieved a possible 3 out of the 50 I wrote but that's for another post) and now it's almost Christmas.  So, what has been happening so far in my little corner of the world?

I have finally completed my Master's degree! Woop woop! Yeiyah and Cheeeeeeeeehoooooooooo!!!! Okay, just had to do that.  When I reflect back on my journey on the road to the MA: the stress; the all nighters; the staring at a blank screen or piece of paper trying to figure out what I was going to write; the fear of failure and the thought that I would end up with NOTHING to show for my mortgage sized student loan; I get  a bit emotional because there were quite a few times when I really thought that I was going to give up. I thought that I was too thick to understand the concepts, that my essays were total crap etc... when really, I was doing pretty well.

I don't know why or how I got to be so down on myself.  I am proud that I was able to complete this qualification while working full-time with 3 kids (including the baby who was born in February this year) and all the other stuff that I have to do at church and for family etc.. I really appreciate all the support that I have had from my husband, the kids, my parents and siblings and of course my friends.  Towards the end, there were times when I felt that nobody really cared if I finished or not and I really had to push myself, physically get out of the house to study at the university library to complete assignments.

One of the main reasons why I found completing my final paper so difficult was because I was the undisputed Queen of Procrastination when it came to assignment due dates.  Honest to who, I would do stuff that I hadn't even bothered to do the whole year just to put off getting started on my assignments.  I remember reorganizing my pantry, every cupboard in the kitchen and doing loads and loads of laundry before polishing floors, mirrors and windows one day just to get out of sitting down to do my assignment.  It dawned on me one day when I was seriously thinking of mowing the lawns, repainting the fence and offering to change the oil for our two vehicles that maybe, just maybe I was PROCRASTINATING yet again.  Heck, now that I think about it, I am sure that there was a major assignment due around the time my youngest child was conceived.  Yes, I practically did anything (not 'anyone' except the husband) to avoid having to deal with my assignments.  Thankfully, I was able to get over that and submit my assignments to complete. The sad truth was that the procrastination was a result of my own beliefs that I wasn't good enough, didn't have the brain cells and determination required to successfully complete this degree.

I received a letter from the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences last Friday to confirm that I have been awarded the degree which is great as it's physical proof for me that I have really done it.  Sometimes I wonder if it's all just a dream and that I still have a few papers to complete.  So anyway, that's the good news - I have passed and will graduate with my Master's next May.

What's the great news? Its' the last day of work for the year this Friday!!  No more work till January 2012! I will get my planning done after New Year's but at least I don't have to be at school till end of Jan.